[ were either of them really ready to have this conversation? probably not

would either of them ever had this conversation without being literally locked in an enclosed space together? ALSO PROBABLY NOT ]

No. Not really. But it wasn't...about that, I suppose. Not entirely.

[ He might have thought the pain was just from what he'd done to himself so long ago, preferring to close the memories away rather than to be reminded of what he missed - but he'd be foolish to think that. ]

I was just-- a coward.

I didn't know what you might say, so I imagined it could be anything... I didn't want you to look at me differently. For anything to change.

Like I said. [ He looks at him, briefly, then looks away. It's frankly embarrassing all over again to realise that he's kept the same feelings for centuries and it's never faded at all. ] I didn't-- want to put any pressure on you. I suppose.

As long as you were happy -- that was all that mattered. It didn't need to be with me.

[ There's another short, bitter laugh, as if to say 'and look how that turned out'. ]