datadiving | CALL ME OUT/OPEN RP

[ Kukui lets go, steps back, gives him space like he asks. It would be cruel of him not to.

All he's ever wanted is to make things right. But maybe it's something he should have let go of a long time ago.

(He still hopes, though. He always has. Kukui doesn't give up, doesn't stop throwing himself at the goal; just keep getting up. Keep moving forward. In this as well as other things.)

He brushes his hand against his face, and if those are tears, well, he's not saying anything. Not out of pride, but because it's one more burden. It's better if Guzma hates him, maybe.

(But he hates that, in his own way. It hurts.) ]

...Huh.

That didn't really go too well, yeah? [ He'd try harder to sound lighthearted, but he's not feeling up to it right now. He just sounds tired. More than a little empty, honestly. ]

Edited 2017-01-13 03:14 (UTC)

[Once given space to breathe, Guzma does just that - he sinks into a crouch, the usual squat, and bows his head to just...breathe. His eyes squeeze shut as he tries to calm down, quell the urge to run away, to put as much distance between himself as Kukui as he possibly can. He doesn't want to run, but every pulse of his nerves sends a shock to his system: get out, get away, go, run. It takes all Guzma has to squash it.

He can't even be mad, his go-to emotion. He's just so...so emotionally exhausted. His head hangs and his arms rest on his knees. Honestly, Guzma isn't sure if he's about to hurl or pass out, but neither happen, and he's at least thankful it wasn't the former. His lip quirks up after Kukui speaks, and he rubs his face with one shaky hand.]

...Nah. [His shoulders shake with a broken chuckle.] For idiots like us, that's about what I expected.

Hey, there's only one idiot here.

[ He tries to laugh, at least, but it comes out wrong. More like a choke than a laugh, really. ]

S'not you, yeah?

[ He swipes his hand across his face, still trying to hold it in.

He's always been emotional. For better and for worse. It's trying, in times like now. ]

[The attempt at lightening the mood - because Guzma knows he's not built for this, he can't offer his sympathies like a normal person - falls flat. He doesn't know how to comfort someone well, it's just not what he does, how he acts. To offer one comfort, the opposite side needs to be open and honest - qualities Guzma does not have readily available. But.

But.

He can't ignore the way Kukui sounds just now. It stabs at his chest, draws points claws against his chest and pulls. He wishes he could care less, but there's not a chance of that now. He stands, still a little leaden, and shakes his head. He's love to tell Kukui he's wrong, but now's not the time for that. Guzma's not ready to bridge the gap between them, but the trench seems a little smaller now. Maybe.]

Kukui... [That's it, that's all he can think of to say. What else is there? He's no good at this.]

...It's nothing. Forget it, yeah?

[ He sounds a little pained, more than a little sad, but that's just how it is, isn't it? Kukui rushing ahead, messing things up. Always looking forward, charging without regard for anything else.

He tries to laugh, a little. It doesn't work so well.

It's closer than they've been in years, this strange atmosphere between them now. Even this feels better than such painful distance. ]

[For a moment, Guzma has to fight with himself - to let it go like he was asked. That's the easy way out, the way he's used to. Just forget about it and keep on going like how it's always been, how he's always been. But...what sort of change will he make if he keeps doing the same things? Keeps acting like the same punk he was as the leader of Team Skull? He says he can't change, and Guzma sort of believes it, but he...he wants to try. If anything, he's stubborn and determined to prove himself.

Maybe he can start here, right now, a toe in the water. If he can do this...this one little thing, then maybe--]

Kukui. Don't--...

[His tone is different. It's harder, more pointed, but not harsh. Guzma extends a hand out to Kukui, not to shake, but to clasp. He can't say it, words aren't what Guzma excels in, but he can at least do this much. One step at a time, little by little, he can...try. Even if it means never seeing Kukui upset like that again. Especially over a mess like him. He's not worth crying over, that's for damn sure.]

[ He blinks a few tears away, surprised briefly at Guzma just sticking his hand out, but...

He clasps it, almost immediately. Without hesitation (if there is, it's very little indeed). And if his grip is a little tight, if there's a little bit of unsteadiness there, what of it? He's not afraid to show it.

He's always wanted this back, or something like it. He wants to bridge the gap between them, too.

It's a start.

He smiles. A little. ]

[The grip on the other end is firm, sturdy, and though no words are spoken an oath is formed between the two men. Don't give up on me, is what Guzma would have asked, were he better and braver, and more outspoken. But no, he'll keep his wish in his heart, for now. It'll be a long road until he can trust Kukui again, but he's willing to give it a shot, at least. He wants his friend back, he just needs to...to get over his bitterness and anger at seemingly being left behind.

After a while, Guzma exhales and then puts his hands back into his jacket pockets, turning away with a snort.]

If we're done, you oughta get your face checked out, Kukui...it's lookin' more unsightly than usual.

CALL ME OUT/OPEN RP

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