datadiving | this is fun and we have fun here

[He glares up at Ekkehardt for a moment longer and then disappears into the earth, a dark blue darting around Ekke and up the trunk of a tree, only for Avery to appear on a branch a little above Ekkehardt's eye level.]

How's this for a try, Stretch? Maybe I'll add a few bows for decoration.

[ Avery burns bright and vivid in his altered vision. His head almost snaps to follow him, a quick and unnatural movement. ]

S-st..ill no s-sign, t-t..though.

I h...h-have a name.

[ If it wasn't for the stuttering and the clear effort he's exerting, he'd almost sound like his old self.

But that last phrase is almost a question; it wavers in a way that his other words have not. It seems to distract him from the present.

(His name, like many other things, is something he has tried and failed many times to grasp. But it's slipped away from him like it's evading him, and so he gave up on it in his exhaustion, and gave up another piece of himself.

Names have power. The power to seal a contract, to complete someone's being, to be the last or first step in someone's creation.

He had been far closer to death, and so a daemon whose face he cannot remember had come to him first; when he refused to say his name, even to save himself, they had laughed.

The thing born out of his remains had his memories and everything that mattered, was a cage for his soul, but he had never given his name and so he had been transformed without his memory of it, as one last trick.) ]

[Avery's smile falters.

That wasn't a statement. Not as much as he wanted it to be. He remembers how Ekkehardt never gave a name, remembers how he had taken note and kept it a secret as well. Now there's a part of him that wishes he hadn't. Maybe if he had...]

That so? What was it again...? Tall, dark, and annoying? Nosy? Busybody?

[He laughs, but it's not a genuine one. Not quite.]

Wow, Ekkehardt, you really want to give me that much power here?

Oh! I know! Let's go with... Jerk. Simple, short, and snappy!

[ He just waits, not responding to any of those names until the one that's his is spoken. His gaze has changed to some strange, unfocused yearning.

Not because being called those things doesn't feel right or familiar (because they feel acerbically, comfortably familiar, feelings from a place he cannot access, because his memories were hidden but his emotions were not), but because one of them is a key to the rest of him. He's not complete without it.

It wouldn't work at any other time before this. He would have torn himself apart in the strain, or irreversibly broken; yet another cruelty, yet another trick. He was brought back, like the contract had asked for, but in fragmented pieces rather than any coherent whole. Forced to assemble himself like an unsolved puzzle.

Compared to all his other changes, painful and slow, this unlocking is so much quicker. He'd been straining to remember who he was before this, to master himself on top of his own agony; everything seems so much clearer now. ]

You remembered all those other ones before my actual name?

[ He's on the branch in an instant, now just as fast, but the second before he actually touches it, he changes, and now he has absolutely no hope of matching Avery's height right now.

It's not exactly the same; he can't be as he was. But it's very similar, and very familiar. ]

I don't know why I expected anything else.

[ Ekkehardt crosses his arms and stares and if not for everything else that's changed, it could almost be something approaching normal. ]

Edited 2019-03-14 16:43 (UTC)

[There's no reply. Not at first. Avery keeps hiss head turned away, his hands clenched tight astound the worn and dirty fabric of his cloak.]

Heh. Maybe they just seemed to fit better.

[His voice is rough, a crack and a showing of weakness that might have been unacceptable if it weren't for the near-overwhelming tidal wave of relief washing over him.]

... Took you long enough.

[ It's painful to hear, but in a more normal way than what threatened to tear him completely to pieces. It's not like everything doesn't hurt, but...

He can manage. He'll manage.

He might have said insufferable as ever but it doesn't feel right, so he settles for something else. ]

I will admit I was, perhaps, a little slow.

[ And more hastily, like he's trying not to overcomplicate or overthink the words or make them more formal to suit himself: ]

I'm-- sorry.

[And now he had the gall to make him feel guilty. Avery reaches up and runs a hand through his hair, then leans back to hang upside down from the branch by his knees, arms stretched out toward the ground.]

Don't be. It's not like it was actually your fault. And... you were still there, I guess. Making sure no one who wandered in here got too high and mighty.

[keeping watch as he always did.]

Considering I was terrible company, it was the least I could do for you.

[ The words are too heavy, maybe - but they come out before he can stop them, because Avery isn't the only one who feels guilty.

He could try to laugh it off, but he's never quite had the talent for it. Too serious, too straightlaced in his own way - though he'd gone along with Avery's bad ideas more than once, even if it was just to keep him out of trouble, because he was one of the two people in his life that could have ever convinced him to do things that nobody else could get away with.

But those days are gone and past and all of them have changed too much to ever go back.

He sits, and doesn't look at him. ]

Yeah, you kind of were.

[It seems harsh, even to him, and so Avery frowns and continues on.]

You didn't even react when I gave you pigtails that one time.

[Whether or not he really did so and when, he's not telling.]

[ That gets a little self-deprecating laugh. I know, it seems to say.

He remembers everything past his revival as a jumbled mess of light and sound, but sorrow and guilt; that had been clear. He hadn't been entirely clear whether it was his own, or Avery's, and that told a story all by itself. ]

Surely you had better things to stave off your boredom. [ His voice is a bit dry (even if he has to force it). Pigtails, really? ]

[He swings back and forth for a moment, and then his body flows like water, melting into shadow and twisting around the branch until he's back in a sitting position.]

Probably. But I wanted to see if you still looked creepy with them. Turns out the answer was yes.

[He snickers]

It was still pretty funny.

[ He watches, red light flaring in the eyesockets of his mask in clear curiosity. There are many things he missed, it seems.

(It had been a party trick, something he did for effect or for his own amusement, when he was alive. For scaring people, because he wasn't above that.

It's part of him, now. He doesn't know what to think.) ]

Well, at least your sense of humor hasn't changed. Still as questionable as ever.

[ He can't quite keep the fondness out of his voice, though. ]

[Of course it was. Now more than ever. After everything has changed, after the world's been turned upside down, when the woman he loved (loves?) most has ripped his and Ekkehardt's life to tiny little pieces, something in his life needs to remain the same.

And maybe if he jokes enough it'll become a little less real, a little less painful. Something normal, background noise in this strange, new existence.]

And what about you? Coming out of your silence after all these years to call me stupid?

[There's clear, genuine amusement there. Honestly, he couldn't think of anything more fitting.]

You're just as uptight as I am hilarious.

[ Time was something he was unable to grasp, when he was in the grip of his own pain; he doesn't know how long it's been since he died. All these years, his friend says, and the shock (somewhere between surprise and horror) shows on his face before he can stop it.

(He'd already suspected, but it's one thing to suspect and another thing to confirm it.)

Since they're already pretending anyway, he speaks normally and pretends it didn't happen. ]

What else was I supposed to call you, hmm?

I can't very well call you a genius for hitting yourself on the head. That would just be rewarding you for idiotic behaviour.

[ Like he hasn't technically rewarded him already..... ]

[He didn't know. Somehow it's not that surprising, but expectation doesn't dull the pain. The most he can hope for is that Ekkehardt wasn't aware of anything at all during that time, but he doubts it.

He's heard those screams. Can hear them now if he closes his eyes and thinks about the things he doesn't want to remember.]

Accidents happen, Ekke. Even geniuses make mistakes.

[especially the planned ones.]

[ He hadn't always glued himself to Avery's shadow, over the long years. Though such occasions were rare, he'd slink off to other places, somewhere where he couldn't be seen, only barely sensed.

Even without his mind operating in any sort of functioning state, some kind of tiny pilot light of what was probably consideration had driven him away, like an animal instinctively driven to hide and lick its wounds.

The screams had echoed, despite his best efforts. ]

As you've told me before, repeatedly. [ He shakes his head with a sigh. ]

I don't know why I kept going along with all your terrible ideas. I think that just encouraged you to be more reckless.

Don't act like you didn't have any fun. You could have backed out at any time.

[He was grateful he hadn't. Avery had had to be dragged to safety out of more than a few of his more hare brained schemes.]

Especially when I sent stuff from school. You never had to send anything back.

Why wouldn't I? [ Another moment of surprise, like not replying was something that had never crossed his mind.

And it really never had.

He huffs, after a moment. ]

If rescuing you and running away counted as fun, certainly, I suppose I must have had the time of my life! [ The med student doth protest too much, really. If he hadn't wanted to go, he wouldn't have gone. But he cared too much to leave Avery in the trouble he'd inevitably get himself in.

(Hadn't that been what got him into this in the first place, made him what he is now? But he doesn't regret it. It's one of the few things he holds no regret for.) ]

But I suppose I have to thank you for giving me plenty of practice for my studies...my teachers were certainly surprised to see I had so much experience already.

[He laughs and grins and points at him energetically]

See? Life experience! Let no one ever say that I have taught you valuable skills over the years!

[The laughter dies little by little and settles into a silence that starts comfortably, but slowly grows thick and heavy.]

I've really dragged you into one hell of a mess this time, haven't I?

And you made me ancient in the process from stress, I might add!

[ He's about to try and break that silence, but...

Well, what can he say to that.

He does still laugh, but it sounds sad. Rough and crackling and broken around the edges, another reminder of how much time he's lost, how he's changed.
]

Don't be stupid. [ He glances at him with a faint, sad smile. There's no bite to his words. ]

You didn't drag me into anything.

[ It was his choice to argue, to fight back, after all. It's simple, to him; an action with a consequence.

Isn't it what he's always done? They'd argue and bicker and Ekkehardt would threaten to leave Avery to his own devices and his own troubles, but when it came down to it he'd never left him behind. Not once. ]

[Yes he did. How many times had he ignored the alarm bells in his head? How many excuses had he made for her jealous behavior? He'd been so blinded by love, and now he was suffering the consequences for it. And so was Ekkehardt.

That was what he got for trying to play the nice guy, wasn't it?]

Sure. Whatever. But you don't need to stay in it either. This is my mess to clean up.

[ He could say a lot of things. Now you're being responsible? I never thought I'd see the day or something else similarly mocking.

The person he was would have already said it without thinking, because their relationship had simply been comfortable and slightly vitriolic and they could go back and forth endlessly.

But it's changed so much, and they've both changed so much, and it's never been more obvious than it is now. Avery was never really responsible; that had been Ekkehardt's job, well suited to his personality. One running ahead, one following behind; something they'd done even as teenagers.

All of that seems so far away now. ]

If it's truly what you want, I'll go elsewhere.

[ He doesn't look at him. It's the only sign that maybe saying something like that might feel painful. ] But I'd prefer not to leave, if it's all the same to you.

[Avery growls and glares down at the ground below.]

Who's being stupid now? It's not about what I want, Ekkehardt, it's about you not screwing yourself over even more.

[He leans forward, puts his head in his hands]

The kingdom's been gone for decades now. I haven't aged. I don't even know if I can. I don't even know if this form or the other one is what I really look like now for god's sake. If you stay, that's the kind of crap you're dealing with. For an eternity.

[He looks up, tired.]

Do you really want that? Because if you're just sticking around out of duty, you can buzz off.

[ He just shakes his head. ]

Do you really think I'm that cold? [ It's not quite a serious question, but it's a little pained, all the same. ]

If I'd wanted to, I could have left this place behind. [ He could have fled into the forest and never returned. The contract had only specified bringing him back; it hadn't bound him to anything. Mad with pain, he could have run and kept running - probably forever.

Some nameless wraith that would have eventually been pitied -or feared - and run to ground; exorcised and freed from torment, history and memories disregarded and long forgotten.

His voice is quiet and tired. ] The contract you made didn't bind me to you. I've always been here because I willed it to.

You know about the...?

[He shakes his head]

Of course you know about the contract.

[It was etched into Ekkehardt's soul as well. Hard not to notice, wasn't it?]

Still, I'm... I'm sorry you got wrapped up in all of this.

And you know how much I hate apologies.

this is fun and we have fun here

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