Ruka (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
blitzbrained) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
datadiving2019-04-28 11:38 am
blitzbrained) wrote in datadiving2019-04-28 11:38 amEntry tags:
CALL ME OUT, 2019 EDITION
I've got a muselist! I've got RP drive! LET'S DO IT
blitzbrained) wrote in datadiving2019-04-28 11:38 am
no subject
[It was cruel to impose his feelings on someone when his end was fated. Grimm had felt strongly on that. The loss would be painful enough for Brumm already - the last thing he wanted was to cause further harm.
Even if he saw the way Brumm looked at him sometimes. Even if he desired nothing more than to reach out for him and draw him close - he would not. Could not.]
...it doesn't feel real. That you could return my feelings.
[What they had was precious to him. He wouldn't dare disturb that.]
no subject
He doesn't know if it turned out well. But that love had lasted, even with his memory gone; longing for something, for someone, that he missed. Even that would never leave him.
Brumm laughs, weak and soft. He should be happy. This is what he's always wanted, what he'd dreamed about (when he'd allowed himself to).
He doesn't know, then, why he's crying, why this is so painful, why he's so sad. Why, in the face of this, everything seems so overwhelming. ]
I dreamed about it. Sometimes. But I thought--
[ --that I wasn't good enough, not for you. That you deserved someone better, brighter, more able to match you. That it was easier to love you from a distance because then I wouldn't know for certain, that I could dream, because it would be worse if you loved me back but we couldn't--
He doesn't finish his sentence. It drops off into nothing. ]
Mrm. It doesn't...feel real to me, either.
[ He hasn't quite let go of Grimm. He finds that he doesn't really want to. ]
no subject
We were both a bit foolish, weren't we?
[So convinced that the other could never return their feelings, never even noticing the other pining away.]
Forgive me for my blindness.
no subject
[ Loving him, having that love be returned, is enough. Being able to show it is enough. More than enough.
He blinks away tears. He doesn't quite know where they come from, but he can't seem to make them stop, and to make up for it he wraps his arms around Greg and buries his face in his shoulder. ]
Mrm...sorry.
[ For what, he doesn't know. For never saying anything, for thinking so poorly of him, for that ache of guilt and grief from his past life he doesn't quite remember. Or it's for smaller things, like getting his shirt wet, for ending up in here at all.
Maybe it's just all of those things at once. But he doesn't want to let go of him, not yet. ]
no subject
[Greg gives up on trying to wipe Bairre's tears away and just holds him close. He can cry on his shirt, he can hold him until visiting hours end and nurses show up to kick him out. He can hold onto Greg for long than that, because he's certain no human power could force him to let go.]
...You're warm.
[Maybe it's the flame in both of them, or maybe it's just that being unable to hug him for so long felt painfully cold.]
no subject
[ Some part of him will always yearn for that warmth, feeling lost without it. Even just being close to him makes him feel warmer.
(Grimm had been an intrinsic part of his life, before; losing the memories of him hadn't replaced the part in his heart he felt he was missing.
He doesn't want to think about that. He doesn't--)
He knows he'll just repeat the same things over and over, like he's unable to say anything else, if he keeps talking. He'll think in circles, too, over and over.
Instead, he draws Greg down into another kiss (always down with him, even when they're both seated he's shorter; he'd find it funny if it wasn't like this. Maybe he'll find it funny later), so they can both concentrate on something else more pleasant for a while. ]